This blog has less to do with turkey basters and more to do with cake and what i mean by that is, this blog has nothing to do with turkey basters and a little to do with cake. The girl with the cake is me. The cake is mine. It will never be yours. Mainly because i ate it long before you got here and i never learnt to share so now you have no cake. I pity your absence of cake. You can keep my pity because like my love, i have a lot to give, but unlike my pity, my love is reserved for cake. And puppies. But dont feed cake to puppies because cake is people food, not puppy food.











Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Hai Moshtix

Please keep in mind, I like cranky letters and I probably hate you.
I also kind of consider my ranting emails a favour to all customer service representitives of the world. I am the highlight of your day so fucking love it. 

Read on to experience the eye-gougingly tedious drama that is a half retarded Katrina attempting to buy tickets online via moshtix.



Hai there,

Unfortunately i have been subject to the terrible user experience design of your website far too many times now.

It concerns me, as it should, your organisation, that it is apparent that no member of your web team has ever actually used your website in the attempt of procurement of tickets.

As I have concluded that no one at moshtix has ever actually utilised your service, I will altruistically describe my experience in the optimistic hope that your vicarious experience of the complete bullshit I have been subject to first hand will serve as a catalyst for a change for the better.

 

[START 1]

I begin my experience by browsing the gig guide of a local pub.  Here, I identify a subject of interest and I say to myself, ‘Self, I would like to know more information about this subject and perhaps even seek to procure tickets!’. At this point in time I become extremely lucky because I notice my local pub has given me the navigation option to ‘click here for more information and tickets’. As this is exactly what I would like to do, I click away to find myself knee deep in the moshtix web site.

 

[START 2]

I have been thrown to a new browser page, its bright and confusing but I am reassured because the new tab is titled ‘Buy tickets to <my selected subject of interest>’ I am not lost in the interwebs after all. This is where I intended to be. But wait!!

Though I am consoled that the tab title understands my intentions, it appears that the content displayed within does not.  Although I can see event details,  I put my sunglasses on to carefully analyse the moving bright colours all over my screen in a moot attempt of locating any ticketing information.  I think to myself,

“the tab title wouldn’t lie to me. It says ‘Buy tickets to <my selected subject of interest>’, therefore  I must be able to procure tickets at this page, or at least navigate to the procurement of tickets from this page. Surely.”

I know that your organisation is representing to sell a product that I have identified my own requirement for the procurement of. Therefore I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that somewhere between selecting the link at my local pub’s website and being thrown knee deep into bullshit, that I have become misdirected. I am confident in my dungeoneering skills, so I press on in the quest to procure tickets to <my selected subject of interest>.  I navigate to the moshtix profile for my local pub and locate a section titled ‘other events at my local pub’.

Scenario 1:

I can see <my selected subject of interest>!  At this point in time I will find myself in one of two places:

1.       The screen I was first directed to from my local pub’s website. Please go back up to [START 2] to continue your vicarious experience of getting pissed about by shit design.

2.       A very similar screen to where I first landed, however now I can see, quite obviously that the ‘Buy Tickets’ section was quietly omitted from the page I had first landed upon. Tired, confused, but nevertheless happy that my dungeoneering skills have finally paid off, I proceed to securely purchase tickets TO THE WRONG <MY SELECTED SUBJECT OF INTEREST> because, for some reason, you people consider the same act performed on consecutive nights to be completely different events, and refuse to inform your clients that you have sold out of tickets and instead, illogically hide core functionality of your webapp instead of providing your clients with the undeniably more valuable information of: ‘Moshtix don’t have any more tickets to sell over the interwebs. Sorry.’ And ‘We still have tickets for <my selected subject of interest> at this alternative date if you would like to purchase those tickets instead.’

 

Scenario 2:

Unfortunately, this list is not comprehensive, and <my selected subject of interest> is not included, so I proceed to shake my cursor all about like it’s the hokey-pokey in order to locate navigable links on this page that may take me to a full listing of events at my local pub. No Dice.

As a proficient user of the interwebs, I am never disheartened when a search box is in sight. So I input <my selected subject of interest> and get back ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  Please go back up to [START 1] if you want to try your luck again.

 

Sincerely,

Katrina

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