When I quit that job I had in that office at that point in time, I was asked what I would be moving on to. When I told the accountant that I intended to go back to school full time as a government funded student, he seemed impressed until I explained to him that I was referring to centrelink.
ATTN: MICHELLE
Centrelink Debt Raising Department
Centrelink NSW
Fax: 02 42517 899
ATTN: MICHELLE
Centrelink Debt Raising Department
Centrelink NSW
Fax: 02 42517 899
Dear Michelle,
Please find attached a copy of my current lease agreement to be verified as per our conversation on 26/10/2010 regarding an alleged outstanding debt with centrelink. For your reference, I have also included a payment summary table for the period 19 July 2010 to 25 October 2010. As you can see from this table, the total amount of underpayment is $344. Therefore, please also find attached an invoice for this amount.
| Payment Date | Payment Received | Full Payment | Underpayment |
| 19 July 2010 | $453 | $453 | - |
| 2 Aug | $377 | $453 | $76 |
| 16 Aug | $377 | $453 | $76 |
| 30 Aug | $377 | $453 | $76 |
| 13 Sept | $393 | $453 | $60 |
| 27 Sept | $453 | $453 | - |
| 11 Oct | $453 | $453 | - |
| 25 Oct | $397 | $453 | 56 |
| Total | $344 |
Payment consideration will only be accepted in the form of cash, cheque, direct transfer or, as I am a student, a total of 122 cheeseburgers. However, as I am vegetarian, please be informed that the latter payment option is not preferred. I have no hesitation that posessing 122 cheeseburgers would be fun for the first week or so, but after the novelty of owning enough food to feed a typical student for over a month wore off, I belive that I would be overwhelmed by guilt from wasting such a volume of food, especially when there are so many other starving students in this world.
Please also be advised that this outstanding payment is not interest free, and as such I calculate the total interest on the outstanding debt to total $93.40, which is subject to the same payment conditions outlined above, which for your reference is equal to a total of 46.7 cheeseburgers.
Coincidently, the amount owed plus interest generated is the exact amount alleged to be owing by myself to your organisation. Therefore, I propose you save yourself the time and effort of acquiring and transporting 168.8 cheeseburgers all the way from NSW to a vegetarian in Tasmania and instead offset the debts against eachother.
Sincerely
girl
INVOICE
Australian Government Reference Number 702 216
Centrelink Debt Raising Department
Attn: MICHELLE
Centrelink Debt Raising Department
Attn: MICHELLE
Details of amount payablefor (1) underpayment of Australian Youth Allowance and (2) interest on same
Amount payable
- $344
- $93.40
Total $437
Please be advised that this account must be paid in full within fourteen (14) days of receiving this notice. Payments after this date will incur further interest at a rate to be determined by myself.
[edit:] Just so you know, i didnt get any cheeseburgers but centrelink gave me the monies they owed me today. I intend to spend it on hookers, crack and booze.
haha, wow i love you!!!
ReplyDeleteif said cheeseburgers come from Mcdonalds they will never go off or mouldy :)
ReplyDeletewhy cheesburgers are dangerous:
ReplyDeletereason 1)
i decided to not take the service bus (that stops right outside my front door) straight from uni because i thought i'd grab some cheeburgers for me and a mate at the busstation. and then jump on the service bus from there.
So i get to the station, run in a grab some cheeseburgers, then go about my business waiting
for the bus... it doesn't come... i've missed it..........
reason 2) after getting on the normal bus to go home, 5 minutes down the road(that stops a good 20 minutes walk away from home) the service bus
drives past, heading to the station half an hour late............
(if i hadn't had to wait for the cheeseburger i wouldn't have thought i'd missed the bus and asked soemone if it had come yet)
reason 3) after telling my mate that i'm going to quickly jump off the normal bus at the zoo and wait the 2 minutes it will take for the service
bus to get there so i can get on it.......... it over takes my bus and speeds off............
(if i hadn't had waiting for the cheesburgers, i
wouldn't have doubted myself, therefore wouldn't have got on the normal bus and then wouldn't have ruined my plan B)
reason 4) after getting off the bus and deciding, no it's good i missed the service bus coz i want some excersise.............. it starts to
rain.........
then i flip my bag lid over to get a cheesburger out and my phone falls out and is now all scratched (had i not gone for the burger,
my phone would still be pristine)
reason 5) while trying to walk and take the pickle out, i trip over and land on my elbows, bum up..............thankfully the cheesburger is
saved...........................
intersting how one little ugly burger can ruin a day isn't it???